Ok, so romance is pronounced “oooooooooo, they are soooo roooooow-maaaantick” in our house. Usually peppered with loud kissing noises. Lovely.
It's February. The month dedicated to love. Also the month we got married - not because we are romantic. No, not at all. We are practical. I thought I would be a teacher all of my life and the Feb half term is around that time of the month. Built-in anniversary holiday see? Genius!
What I did not think out was that EVERYTHING vaguely romantical is double the price (or more) after the 10th of February.
Short period of genius over.
February is now the month that we celebrate our “Framiversy” in commemoration of our little family of two expanding to three (and beyond, to 5). This gives our young Birdie full permission to go crazy with the love hearts (on everything), for our bedroom doors to become notice boards to little “what I love about you” notes and as many candlelit dinners that we have candles for.
She loves to hear our love story and from there we started chatting about what romance actually is.
I love to hear things from her point of view. It’s delicious. So sweet and simple. I took notes so that I could share them with you. I am also definitely going to start practicing them and get better at that whole ‘oooooooooo, they are soooo roooooow-maaaantick’ thing. Maybe you will too?
What is romance?
Romance is common in the early stages of a relationship and often defined with love notes, late nights, chocolates, dates, flowers and long lingering moments. The littles have experienced this first hand recently while watching their big bro fall head over heels. Okay, okay. Truth be told - we all fell head over heels and then she moved away! A lesson in love and loss all in 10 short days.
Lots of “ooooooo”s and “he s in luuuuuuuuvuh, he can’t do anything cos he s in luuuuuuuuuvuh” were bandied around our house. We are all for living out the FULL experience and it seems: holding nothing back!
Moving on in my questioning I asked where romance goes?
Sadly enough it doesn’t seem to take too long before a relationship suffers from a serious absence of all this wonderful stuff! We think its becasue everyone is so busy all the time. Romance takes a lot of time, usually a lack of sleep, a lot of very long phonecalls and then some more time. Lots and lots of wonderful syrupy time...
Surely though, it certainly doesn’t have to be that way? Keeping the romance alive is important in any relationship.
Fortunately, Birdie, Bug and myself have gathered our very official list of:
“How to Be Soooo Roooooow-maaaantick”
There are many simple and easy things anyone can do to reintroduce romance into a relationship, including these:
P.S. We have come to the conclusion that most of these are great tips for any relationship at some point or another. Birdie and I hold our besties hand some times, and we DEFINITELY hold the hands of each other as much as possible. We suggest swapping out the word romance for ‘love’ if you need ideas for family and friends ….
- Hold hands. Holding hands is free, easy, and can be done nearly anywhere. It requires no effort, but it is meaningful. Holding hands is a simple and easy way to add a little romance to your life. Bug would like to take this moment for a Very Important PSA - wash your hands, like a lot. It’s not romantic to spread germs. (Welcome to my life people)
- Shop together. It all depends on what you’re shopping for. Shopping for a new shovel isn’t all that romantic. But shopping for perfume, jewelry or books can be romantic.
- Give a quick compliment. A quick compliment can be romantic, depending on the nature of the compliment. “I love the way you mowed the grass this week” isn’t going to turn up the romantic energy. “I just love the way you look in your glasses” might just do the trick. Though in our house, for two of us, the love language is ‘acts of service’ and a quick mowing of the lawn or a compliment on how well it is mowed will go a long way.
- Take a short road trip. Get out of town and explore someplace new. It can be a nature area or a diner famous for its food. There’s something romantic about hopping in the car and going on a little adventure together. My addition to this would be that if you have been together for a while then this gives your lives a bit of perspective and can leave you feeling rejuvenated. Maybe even chat and work out a way you can bring that feeling home with you.
- Turn off your phone. Give your person your full attention. Turn off your phone and put it away. Your little games, apps and text messages will still be there in an hour. Nothing says “You’re not important to me” like having a conversation with someone while staring at your phone. Birdie and Bug were very clear on this one. I picked up on the-not-so-veiled hint quite quickly.
- Date night. Go out on a date just like you did back in the day. Even the traditional dinner and a movie can be romantic if you haven’t done it in a while. Share a big tub of popcorn and hold hands in the dark. Oh, and remember to kiss. The kids are not there to make kissing noises or shout ‘get a room’ ( Where do they get this stuff?? Oh yea. Me. Yep. My fault.)
- Flowers. Flowers are a cliché for a reason. Flowers aren’t very practical, but that’s part of what makes them romantic. What type of flowers does your partner like? You do know, right? Birdie really likes this one. We are a house of walking cliches but I kinda like it.
- A small gift. A small, random gift is always kind and appreciated. It can also be romantic, again, depending on the gift. A 10-pack of pencils won’t score a lot of romantic points. Oh wait. Yes. Yes they will in this house! Seriously tho. 4 out of 5 of us here love gifts - at least I think they do? I do. I definitely do.
- Random text or note. A romantic text out of the blue is a great gesture that can enhance anyone’s mood. Even a simple, “I was just thinking about you” text can brighten your significant other’s day. Birdie is an absolute WINNER at this one. Her notes reduce us to grateful tears all of the time. Dan once spent a month writing me a love note every day. It healed a few rifts in our marriage too. Do not underestimate the magic of a written note.
- Show how excited you are to see them. We love it when people are genuinely happy to see us. Show your partner how much you care by putting on a display of enthusiasm for his or her arrival. Actually, do it FOR EVERYONE. Think about how an adult greets a toddler they haven’t seen lately. That’s the general vibe you’re shooting for. Do this on the phone too. You‘ll be surprised how you can brighten someone’s day when they can hear a smile in your voice.
- Random affection. A hug or a kiss at an unexpected moment can be very romantic. The more surprising, the more romantic, generally speaking.
- Cook a meal together. Go shopping for ingredients together and then share the cooking duties. Cooking together can be both fun and romantic. You never know what dessert will bring. (Look away kids, that last sentence was not for you!)
There’s plenty a motivated person, or persons, can do to rekindle the romance in their relationship. Romance doesn’t have to be overly expensive, complicated, or mushy. There are many simple, kind gestures that are romantic.
This month we are going to work on giving all our relationships a bit of a romantic spring clean! You can definitely put your relationship back on course and make both of you happier with these easy, so-simple-a-kid-thought-of-it romantic actions.